She’s been plotting world domination since age seven.
At the beginning of 2018, Paris Hilton broke the internet when she announced she is now engaged to artist and actor Chris Zylka.
Soon after the news broke, the world and international media started asking the important questions: WHERE ARE THEY GONNA GET MARRIED? WHEN IS IT GOING TO HAPPEN? WHO IS GONNA BE ON THE GUEST LIST? WHO IS GONNA DRESS HER?
During a recent interview, Hilton and Zylka were questioned about when and where the wedding was going to be. Both played it off by saying “we are still planing…”
Listen, I’ve been a Paris Hilton stan for 15 years now and I know FOR SURE that Miss Paris Hilton is not “still planning” ANYTHING.
Miss Hilton is truly ahead of her time. Nothing has ever been a coincidence or an accident since the creation of her now almost THREE BILLION DOLLAR EMPIRE.
Hilton is the great mind behind the phrase “influencer” and has been incredibly influential in the role celebrities play in modern times.
Celebrity perfumes? Paris did it first. Getting paid to party? She did it first. Taking selfies? She did it first. Naming a city after her? France did it!
Did you see Paris Hilton’s tweet asking her followers for good wedding locations?
SHE IS MAKING AMERICA BELIEVE SHE IS STILL PLANNING A WEDDING THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN PLANNED SINCE THE MOMENT SHE GRADUATED KINDERGARTEN.
You might look at this picture of 7-year-old Paris Hilton and think “aww what a cute girl!” BUT IN REALITY, THAT 7-YEAR-OLD WAS ALREADY PLOTTING WORLD DOMINATION!!
While the photographer was taking these pictures, Paris was planning her Ibiza residency.
Paris Hilton has her entire life planned exactly the way her heart desires.
Being the inter-dimensional celestial alien goddess that she is, she can travel through time and space to change the world in any way she wants.
Have you ever wondered why the sky is blue? It’s because Paris Hilton DESIGNED the sky that way! The color blue is one of her favorites so she decided the sky should be baby blue.
Plus, IT MATCHES HER OUTFITS.
Paris Hilton’s wedding is going to be the most iconic wedding the world has ever seen — such a powerful and iconic legend has been planning this day since before we all were born.
Paris, being the inter-dimensional celestial being that she is, exists solely in a loop of 2001-2007. Therefore, she doesn't age.
So next time you hear Paris Hilton say she is “planning something” just know she is talking about an event that will occur in the next 60-80 years (minimum).
Because at the end of the day, this is Paris Hilton's world and we are just living in it!