Here's Some Fucked Up Shit You Never Noticed About "Beauty And The Beast"

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Enough is enough.

Hello, world. My name is Stephen, and I’m here to ruin your favorite childhood film, Beauty and the Beast.

Hello, world. My name is Stephen, and I'm here to ruin your favorite childhood film, Beauty and the Beast.

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Now don’t get me wrong. I freaking LOVE this movie. It’s a classic! But I recently re-watched it as an adult, and I have some bad news for you…

Now don't get me wrong. I freaking LOVE this movie. It's a classic! But I recently re-watched it as an adult, and I have some bad news for you...

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Every single character is a massive fucking asshole. They’re all a bunch of dicks! Let’s break it down:

Every single character is a massive fucking asshole. They're all a bunch of dicks! Let's break it down:

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We’ll start with Belle. Yes, she’s an asshole!

We'll start with Belle. Yes, she's an asshole!

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Belle CLAIMS she wants more than this ~provincial life~ — and then becomes a princess in a big empty castle in the middle of nowhere. She sold out all her values for a man!

Belle CLAIMS she wants more than this ~provincial life~ — and then becomes a princess in a big empty castle in the middle of nowhere. She sold out all her values for a man!

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Next up: the Beast. He’s an asshole!

Next up: the Beast. He's an asshole!

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As a prince, he was selfish and vain. He and all his friends are put under a curse LITERALLY because of how terrible he is.

As a prince, he was selfish and vain. He and all his friends are put under a curse LITERALLY because of how terrible he is.

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So what does he do to reverse that curse? He abducts a woman and holds her hostage until she falls in love with him. Fucked up!

So what does he do to reverse that curse? He abducts a woman and holds her hostage until she falls in love with him. Fucked up!

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And then we have the enchanted objects — Lumière, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts — and yes, even Chip. They’re all assholes, too.

And then we have the enchanted objects — Lumière, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts — and yes, even Chip. They're all assholes, too.

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If they REALLY gave a fuck about Belle, they would let her escape. Instead, they trick an innocent woman into falling in love with a monster-man, so they can be freed from a curse. Do these people have no moral compass?

If they REALLY gave a fuck about Belle, they would let her escape. Instead, they trick an innocent woman into falling in love with a monster-man, so they can be freed from a curse. Do these people have no moral compass?

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Next up is Maurice. Yup, asshole!

Next up is Maurice. Yup, asshole!

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Maurice started this whole mess by trespassing on private property. That’s breaking and entering, dude!

Maurice started this whole mess by trespassing on private property. That's breaking and entering, dude!

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And finally, we have the villains. Needless to say, they’re all assholes. Gaston is a sexist pig, Le Fou is complicit as well, yada yada. This one’s obvious.

And finally, we have the villains. Needless to say, they're all assholes. Gaston is a sexist pig, Le Fou is complicit as well, yada yada. This one's obvious.

Disney

Listen, I love Beauty and the Beast as much as the next guy. But every single character in this film needs to take a long, hard look in that magic mirror. THEY’RE ALL ASSHOLES.

Listen, I love Beauty and the Beast as much as the next guy. But every single character in this film needs to take a long, hard look in that magic mirror. THEY'RE ALL ASSHOLES.

Disney

Except for the stepstool-dog. He’s cool. He can stay.

Except for the stepstool-dog. He's cool. He can stay.

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